#9 - Tragedy, Fear, & Leaning into Loving Big

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

thoughts, life, parent, moments, today, feel, rawness, love, kids, tragedy, friends, elon musk, noise, podcast, loved ones, sliver, yesterday, balance, car, week

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully, I often would be frustrated that time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seem to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it. Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life, by how I choose to show up for myself every day. Am I perfect? Hell no far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself, and to be present with whatever I experienced in this life, The Good, the Bad, and The really fucking ugly. to own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women. And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life, preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying fuck that noise, go to TrishaBarita.com/freecourse. Now let's get after it.

02:06

Well, hello, fabulous friends. You know, I had a different podcast that I planned to release this week. But after the tragedy at the Uvalde, Texas, Robb elementary yesterday, I think I wanted to talk about something more that I'm feeling and that you may be feeling. So I make a lot of jokes on this podcast. I laugh a lot, actually I laugh a lot in life, the irony and ridiculousness of everything. At the things I love at my stumbles. There's no laughing for me in this moment. In fact, it was actually mentally challenging to let my kids go back to school in first grade this morning. My husband was driving them this particular morning, and I followed them out to the car today and said, like a billion goodbyes, and my whole body was like, Don't put them in the car. Just hug them and hold them. And you know, you know how kids are. They were like, I love you, Mommy. But like then back to singing or fiddling with some toy in the car. totally innocent to yesterday's events. And all the bullshit awful in this world. Being like the elementary school kids at Uvalde my kids, they only have a few days of school till summers here. These are the days I loved as a kid. Most if not all of their work gets done. They will be spending the day watching the Disney movie encanto and eating popcorn probably candy I don't approve of from the room mom, playing games, coloring, making silly summer art, storytime running around on the playground and saying goodbye to their friends. So they can greet the summer. To know that there are families and parents and Uvalde this morning. Their kids don't get to do that. Well, obviously, you know, it's the reality of every parent's worst nightmare. And as far as the media, I know where all this is going, you know where this is all going, The politics, the debates. You've seen it all before. And I'm not going to go there. Instead, I'm going to go somewhere else with you today. In these rare moments of incredible tragedy. You may feel a wrongness. I know I do. It's hard to explain. But for me, it's like you feel this sort of ache in your heart. Maybe you want to hold your loved ones extra close. I mean, I have crazy thoughts of putting my kids in a bubble for the rest of their lives in these moments. And now that is pretty unrealistic. Don't you think for me to have that thought but and especially unrealistic because you know, Elon Musk is too busy with Mars and Twitter to create such a concoction anyway, just saying. But I still feel it though. So why do I feel this way? And if you're thinking or feeling this way, why? Because my thoughts are that maybe if I could do that, you know, put them in this sort of mythical bubble, I could possibly control the potential of the unbearable price of being a parent, the loss of a child. But I could somehow insulate them, and thereby insulate myself from all this fear, because it's scary as shit. But what if rather than wrapping our kids in bubble wrap, and getting all caught up in a spiral thoughts of how we are scared, scared of life being 50/50. Remember, we talked about that in episode three called Life isn't a bowl of Lucky Charms, marshmallows. It's that feeling all the feelings, the good, the bad, and the really fucking ugly. The scared moments of being a parent have to exist along with all the missing pieces of being a parent. It's all part of the package of living a life where you are present for all of it. Now, I know that's not what you want me to be telling you today. You probably would rather I'd be telling you that Elon Musk or some other inventor type has figured out a way to put all of our loved ones in a bubble. Sorry, my friends. So you go on today, and this week, maybe you feel this flood of emotions today. You post some things on social media media. You talk with people about how sad and tragic this is. But as the days weeks months go by, you go back to your routine, and the rawness fades, the achy heart fades. But just what if, what if it doesn't?

06:56

What if we take what we are thinking and feeling today that rawness and cut a sliver of it off, to keep it with us and remember how we can't control this life. But we can control how we show up in it. We can control how we choose to be present, especially in our relationships with our loved ones, not out of thoughts of fear, that come up in these moments of tragedy and loss. But rather we take that sliver of rawness of our thought of how precious we know life is. And you let that drive you to try and be as present as you can with your loved ones. You take actions to be in the moment with them. Because in your pocket is that sliver of rawness you saved, reminding you, you make boundaries with your time with people you love. Maybe you carve out when you aren't on the phone or put down the remote. You plan a game night or you go camping or on a road trip. You cook with them. You do their favorite things, things they love. And you tell them you love them over and over and over again. And you just lean into love as much as you can every damn day. My thoughts and prayers are with all the family, friends, colleagues, siblings and parents who lost someone yesterday in Uvalde, Texas. And that is all I have for you today. So I'll leave you with that. Now go get after it as always, and lean into loving big. You got this.

08:45

Hey, thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, and are a woman ready to say fuck that noise so you can start designing the balance in your life. Go take my free course to get started at TrishaBarita.com/freecourse. Now Have an awesome day and I'll see you next week.