#30 - Eating Your Feelings

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

food, thoughts, feelings, eat, spaghetti, feel, noise, trisha, life, comfort, emotions, nostalgia, amazing, chocolate cake, spaghetti pasta, balance, created, legit, brownies, women

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully, I often would be frustrated that time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seem to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it. Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life by how I choose to show up for myself every day. Am I perfect? Hell no far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself, and to be present with whatever I experienced in this life, The Good, the Bad, and The really fucking ugly. to own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women. And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life, preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying fuck that noise go to Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now let's get after it

02:06

Hello, fabulous friends. So I saw a meme the other day someone had posted and it was like, I popped up but I was laughing because it says they say laughter is the best medicine. They lie It's brownies with with a picture of a woman you know, like baking and eating brownies. And I've seen like a million of these kind of means like Facebook, Instagram, whatever, you know, and whatever social media and you know he's I just laugh because I'm like, it's funny, but it's not funny, you know? Like, oral see like a list of things to do when you're sad and it'll be like an eat some chocolate. Like, okay, you know, these are all main and funny sort of LoL type jokes. And you know, I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but or whatever. But seriously, comforting yourself with food. isn't really the best plan is it? You know, relying on something like food to make you feel a certain way isn't real? You know, food is just food. You may be like, what hold the phone Trisha have some food? You may be thinking some food is fucking spectacular. And when I eat it, I feel awesome or super happy. But let me ask you this, can you get to that place? That place that this spectacular food makes you feel without without actually eating the food? I mean, I don't know. I would consider myself probably a foodie. I love those tasting menus and I like all different types of food. I I'm intrigued by new food I haven't tried. I definitely enjoy trying different food. But I also know that food, any food doesn't make me feel anything. It's just food. And it's the part where like all the foodies chefs and like food lovers all shake their head in disbelief. So, so just just imagine you're in this amazing like Michelin star restaurant in Paris, France. I mean, you can legit just imagine you can just legit see the Eiffel Tower out the window from your seat. And they bring out like this incredible course. And the colors of the food are beautiful. And it smells amazing. And the presentation is flawless. It's like art and the feeling you associated with that. Can you get that without ever eating or experiencing that food? You see, it's not the food. That's the amazing It's your thoughts about the food. So do we eat our feelings? Hell, yeah, we do people do. You know, and it's something that I think everyone has experienced, I just think women tend to do it more, I think because, honestly, I think there's a lot of like noise out there that that caters to telling us that this is how we how we deal with feelings. But I mean, you know, I think anybody can eat their feelings, you know, to feel joy to feel comfort, etc, etc. Perhaps the question is, what thoughts are we having about that food? And the truth is that your relationship with food? Well, it's been a long one, you've been doing it since, you know, forever in your life, so, and it's been influenced by all the people in your life and society, you know, good things, bad things. I don't need this because this happened to me or like, whatever. I used to joke I don't like chocolate cake, because I had gotten appendicitis, I'm writing chocolate cake. Obviously, they had nothing to do together with each other. At least, that's what all the doctors say. So you know, but frankly, it's a lot of noise about you know, food and how it makes us feel. So our thoughts about food really give us these feelings about the food. And it's so tied up and like kind of intertwined and twisted together with the food, these feelings and emotions that, you know, we can convince ourselves the food does cause the feeling. It's pretty easy to do. Let me give you a really, really clear example. Do you have any type of food that you have nostalgia about like anything really, I had a friend who who liked that he was like Chef for your D. It was like spaghetti, spaghetti pasta, and it can. Anyway, I, I wasn't familiar with it. But he was telling me about, like, how amazing it is, you know, all this stuff. And this number of years ago, and he thought that, you know, I needed to try it because I never had it. And I I mean, I knew about it, but my my my mom didn't feed that to us. So, but I didn't uh, you know, I didn't really agree with his assessment. When I tried it. I was like, this is not that great. So like, sorry Shep word. He was like, I just, I don't think I've ever had spaghetti in cans. So I was like, what what is this like, and, you know, but see, he, he totally felt different. Like he had tied all these childhood memories up with this spaghetti. And again, he legit felt connected to his childhood by eating it. But he but it wasn't the spaghetti and it can. And you know, because I ate the spaghetti in the can too. And I didn't feel connected shit. Seriously, it was a series of thoughts he had about that food, right. And the same thing happens with you know, mom's incredible apple pie on Thanksgiving, or grandma's infamous lasagna or whatever, you know, those nostalgia ones are real clear. Because you obviously have, you know, memories and thoughts about them. And you may have eaten that food on certain occasions throughout your life and created more and more thoughts and emotions that you're convinced is caused by the food that you feel those feelings when you have that food. So sometimes we tie up the feelings with food so much that we have, you know, you can almost feel lost. And like you've lost control over your relationship with that food. You know, someone says a shitty comment to you, and all of a sudden that salad you are going to order doesn't sound appetizing and you feel like a burger and fries would make you feel so much better. You don't have control over saying hey, I don't feel good about this comment. Someone said I'm having these thoughts about that, you know, I feel bothered. And, and then you look for the food to kind of fill into that comfort gap. And so, you know, or even the opposite, you know, like we tell ourselves a story set of thoughts about how it is a special occasion, you know, especially in holidays, like hey, you know, we only see this type of food a certain time of year. So you know, we need to you know, eat that because so we can feel the emotion from that so that we're having that experience and it's okay because you know, that food gives us that feeling. So you know, and then maybe over eat that over talk about eating your feelings, you know, over eating those emotions. You know, emotional eating can feel like it comes out of nowhere to or can feel very out of control. So in that's just I think because it's so intertwined with the thoughts and the feelings that are created from that and the repetitiveness of it and if you if you make your feelings only comforted from the food, you know, then you're gonna have to eat that you know, Ben and Jerry's to get over the heartache heartbreak. You know if you make your feelings only incredibly spectacular Joy from the food, then you're going to have to be at that restaurant in Paris to get that feeling. You then create a relationship with food that's wrapped up in how it makes you feel. And then to get that feeling you have to have that food. I love food. Okay, I think it's awesome. But learning to be honest and to practice doing this, because it does take some practice sometimes. About what you know, you make it mean as to how you feel what you make this food mean. It's a game changer. It doesn't ruin food for you. i i That's what I thought I really thought when I started doing this kind of work, I thought the disassociation of emotion with food like could room would ruin the whole experience for me, you know, and, and I was resistant to it, actually. But it actually makes it better because you can focus on health goals easier. You can say no to the food for the right reasons. And yes, for the right reasons. You know, you can enjoy food for being food, but not have it be like an emotional crutch and you stop chasing the feeling you think food gives you and step into creating the comfort or the joy all on your own, which is super powerful. And I'll leave you with that. Now go get after it. You got this

11:28

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