#15 - 100 is Just a Number

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

age, life, women, thoughts, betty white, noise, article, picnic, twin girls, trisha, gracefully, diana ross, friends, fun, turning, awesome, read, thinking, day, journaling

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully, I often would be frustrated that time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seem to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it. Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life, by how I choose to show up for myself every day. Am I perfect? Hell no far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself, and to be present with whatever I experienced in this life, The Good, the Bad, and The really fucking ugly. to own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women. And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life, preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying fuck that noise, go to Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now let's get after it.

02:07

Hello, fabulous friends. So for those of you familiar with the American actress and comedian Betty White, she's one of a number of women that come to mind. For me, when I'm thinking age is just a number. Before Betty White had passed away, and I saw in the news that Betty White would be turning 100 years old. My first thought was like, she's gonna be 100 years old. When the hell did that happen? Course you know, we all know. She passed away just short of her 100th birthday. But no matter. I remember at the time, I had scrolled through a few pics of her in an article online. And there was like this one black and white photograph one from probably her 20s and 30s. And she had that same beautiful, but a bit mischievous smile. She seemed to carry her whole life. Apparently, Betty White says an optimistic attitude is one of the secrets in life. I don't think or believe, of course, that age doesn't bring changes or limitations physically. But the question is how much you give weight to the age number that you are. When you say value what you can get out of life. Or when you consider your strengths and the possibilities for your life. With Betty White, for me personally, no matter her age, the thought of her just feels like a smile. I think about her life and how many people she made smile. She was a bit cheeky with her humor. Maybe that is why it always seemed her energy was timeless. You know another woman who I adore and also gives me that kind of timeless vibe is Diana Ross. There's a picture I saw in an article out there she shared with with like her whole big beautiful family and they were all on Christmas red and white striped PJs looking adorable. And of course the article mentioned her age being at the time of the photograph. She was 77 and I was like dang, she's looking so stylish and you know, like glowing with happiness. Her vibe for me has always been how she held herself, you know, and how she has such an enviable style about herself. And of course her music as an artist. I hope probably Oh Please, dance and off key sang to ain't no mountain high enough. One of my favorite songs. So whenever it comes on Yeah, that's happening like anywhere seriously. But these women and many women I haven't mentioned, of course, I don't want to do like an eight hour podcast while the women, but many, many women continue to evolve and stay positive in their space, no matter their age. For instance, my grandmother, my own grandmother, well, she was, uh, you know, she's still like attending those Red Hat parties in her 90s, which I think is awesome. And my husband's grandmother, she was wearing heels and drinking chocolate wine, loving life up into her 90s as well. So, so what really is the secret? I don't know. I'm obviously not there yet. But I can tell you what I think. I think these women give less than a damn about what somebody thinks about their age. So then why does the number of our age even matter? Why does it bother us with thoughts of getting older? Not just our thoughts. There is so much noise around age, especially for women. I challenge you to read any article about any woman, especially a woman in the entertainment space. And the reference to how good they look or don't look at their respective age is glaring. You don't have to you can read between the lines, I mean that some of the titles of articles are like seven so celebrity woman wears black bikini on beach at age 57. So celebrity woman goes her lunch with no makeup and half gray hairs.

07:07

So it's awesome celebrity woman shares anti aging secret for women in their 30s and 40s. Read this about the so and so a woman celebrities who age gracefully, and in parentheses and their anti aging skincare tips. You know, as opposed to reading articles about the women who age like it should show whatever per this beauty magazine. Yeah, who's writing that article? No one, right? Because nobody's reading that. And so they're not making this article. But the idea that they're, you know, we're gonna look at that the women that are Aging Gracefully, right, so. Okay, so maybe she chose not the right word. Okay. Obviously, that is not the right word. The opposite of graceful is something more along the lines of inelegant, unfashionable and awkward. So yes, world, beauty world especially. Thank you for clarifying to all of us women, that if our aging is at all inelegant, or unfashionable or awkward, we can look to you for how to age quote, gracefully, thank you so much. So much sarcasm. So okay. And oh, and out of curiosity, and in my not very detailed or scientific research, I decided to Google men who age gracefully. And in Google came back with the top article being about 20 famous men who age like good wine. Yeah. Doesn't good wine, just age. And you don't have to do anything. Okay, I'm just gonna leave that one. The fact of the matter is aging is talked about differently between men and women. And if you want to fight that battle, super love it, go for it, girl. But that's not exactly what I'm talking about today. I'm also not talking about the use of, you know, the beauty products, Botox, lasers, led face masks, serums, peels, yada, yada, that you may be using. Please, y'all, there is plenty of people talking about that. And I'm not saying don't use that stuff. I mean, seriously. I've got all kinds of random beauty products and things I've tried. And one of my besties and I truly geek out on all the beauty random products and methods out there. So if you want a beauty junkie friend I'm in so there's no judgment here on that. So what am I talking about? Why did I mean this episode hunt? 100 is just a number. And what am I trying to say when I say to you age is just a number? Well, I'm talking about what you let it mean for you personally. Let me give you an example. I think when I went from age 29 to 30 I was like devastated. I mean, I thought I was devastated. I look back on that. And that's like, it's so kind of silly. But regardless, at the time, it was not silly to me. I thought, well, this is it. Once you turn 30, your life is over and you are just old. pass the baton to those Epping having 20 year olds, it's time to retire from all fun things in life. I made my circumstance of me turning this number to mean these things. So was my world over when midnight struck on the day of my birthday? Did an avalanche of oldness or wash away all my fun? Yeah, that would be a no. And big surprise to me. All kinds of things are in store for me, and all the fun that I would have since then. I mean, I could not have even predicted how things would go. So maybe in reality, the turning of a certain age number, you know, comes into our life, just like rain or sunshine on a picnic day. Because maybe aging shouldn't be treated like it's this epic storm, we have to weather. What if you totally let go and given to the simple thought that each is just a number. That 100 is just a number. And it's how you think about that number that makes it whatever it is for you. Just just like, it's how you think about that rainstorm on a picnic day. Instead of thinking, well, this is crap, that it's raining, because I planned this whole outside picnic.

11:42

Maybe you could think, hey, this means I get to curl up on the couch and read during a good rain, or Awesome, now I'm gonna have extra time to do some journaling. Or, Hey, I could take this opportunity to do something spontaneous, maybe make this a fun pop up indoor picnic for me and the kids. And since we're indoors, I could have a cup of tea. So just like your thoughts about rain on a picnic day, it is really how you think about the whole process of aging that can determine how you feel about each turn around the sun. I think if I ever made it to 100 I would want to be thinking about how I was present in my life to love my twin girls and awesome husband, and all my peeps and family as much as I could. And then I tried to seek being present so much that while not all my days were perfect. I remember that every day with my loved ones. And every day to do something that matters on this earth is a gift. What would you want to be thinking? If you take a minute and fast forward to you at 100? What do you hope to be thinking about your life? Looking back on your every day? Maybe the better question is, whatever you want your thoughts to be at age 100? Why are we waiting till some other age to experience them? Why wait till another age or pinpoint in our life to take each day as a gift? What is stopping you? Just like me turning 29 to 30? I mean, do you have thoughts about the age you are at or even about where you are at in this life at your age? This is so normal. Everyone fucking does this at some point in their lives. Someone you know, always kind of thinks maybe I should be at this point. You know, and some people do it often more than once. But the next part is the part that you can do that a lot of people still don't do. You can take one small step towards what you want to think about your life. If you're lucky to make it to 100 and you're looking back. This may seem far away or you're uncomfortable. Maybe you think I don't want to think about 100 I have so much stuff to do right now. I think there's a lot of noise, especially for women about what they should be doing. It's certain air quotes here. I'm doing air quotes, what they should be doing at certain ages of their lives. And I want you to be careful and not get all mixed up in your head about those kinds of thoughts because you could end up making mean a whole bunch of stuff that it doesn't even mean when you're relying on outside noise to define what you should be He, or what you should have accomplished at this age or that age, you may find yourself trying to piece together Super Glue duct tape this life you think fits in a box, but to what end? To make someone else feel better for the life you have. Whether that is not having kids, or having kids at a different age than you should have, whether that's getting married or not getting married, or maybe getting divorced, or reaching some career goals, someone says you should have or should have reached at this certain point. If that's the case, then won't you always be chasing to fulfill those outside demands to quiet the noise. But I'm here to tell you, you know, the noise won't stop. So let's stop chasing. Let's stop trying to change the circumstance of age. Let's just sit with whatever age you're at wherever you are in your life and work on having cool thoughts about that. Oh, and on being 100 Well, I made a fun journal page with prompts for you my fabulous friends. So you can try it out and I'm calling in journaling freebie. Wena 100 years old. In case you didn't catch it in my head in my in my eyes thinking this is this is to the beat of the Beatles song you know when I'm 64 Okay, please

16:25

please don't send me instant messages about how my singing is not up to par I am fully fully aware just go with me my friends I'm gonna goofy mood recording this today. Anyhow, you can you can grab the free journaling worksheet, WW dot Trisha barita.com forward slash podcast forward slash the number 15 for this episode. Now, my freebie journaling worksheet on this topic is pretty awesome. But it's not going to make you a badass like Betty White, or a style icon or singer like Diana Ross. But that's because you got to find your path. You need to connect with your light. Now I'm kinda in a mood today, in case you can't tell. So I'm definitely recommending you put the song ain't no mountain high enough with the Virgin sang by legendary Diana Ross for your playlist today. And I'll leave you with that. Now go get after it. You got this

17:37

Hey, thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, and are a woman ready to say fuck that noise, so you can start designing the balance in your life. Go take my free course to get started at Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now Have an awesome day and I'll see you next week.