#13 - I Can’t Find the Time

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

trisha, lost, talk, life, drew barrymore, mommy, rom com, balance, noise, women, find, seat cushions, movie, phrase, overdue library book, goals, dory, coach, bs, actively

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully, I often would be frustrated that time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seem to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it. Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life, by how I choose to show up for myself every day. Am I perfect? Hell no far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself, and to be present with whatever I experienced in this life, The Good, the Bad, and The really fucking ugly. to own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women. And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life, preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying fuck that noise, go to Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now let's get after it

02:07

Hello, fabulous friends. The words I can't find the time, huh? topic of discussion for today. Look in my quick 45 minute free video course which you may have already taken from my website. I talk about planning for goals and scheduling to really focus yourself on getting after your goals. So here today, I kind of want to dig into something I keep seeing come up as an obstacle for my women coaching clients about drumroll please. And I would do a drumroll and probably be really loud though. But drumroll about finding time. As if we lost it somewhere. And if we could just get back to where we lost it and scoop it into our purse and carry it around with us. Well then, and then it would all be okay. Right? But will it? Will it really? Or will you be telling me tomorrow? Or next week or next month? I can't find the time again.

03:27

Well, that's just a bunch of BS. Time. isn't some trinket you lost in the seat cushions of your couch. Or at the bottom of your purse. Believe me. I live in a house where people claim they lose crap all the time. Mommy, I can't find my shoes. Mommy. I can't find my backpack. Daddy. I can't find my hairbrush. Mommy, I can't find the toothpaste. Daddy. I can't find my dance leotard. Mommy, I can't find sister's stuffed animal. Oh gosh. And the worst one, mommy and daddy. I can't find that library book. My responses. Look, little lady, you got to find that book. It's not even ours. Remember, you borrowed it from the library. Fast forward to me getting emails from the school librarian about having to buy the now overdue library book if I do not return it. But by the way, none of that shit is really lost either now is it so I call BS on all that. Suppose that lost things in my house. And I call BS on you. When you tell yourself or others you can find the time.

04:55

Look, it's not that I don't think you have a lot going on in your life. In fact, it's quite the opposite. The whole darn reason I started this podcast and created my membership design your balance is because I want to help coach women to feel more peace in their life when there is a lot going on. So I do understand, I, myself have a lot of things going on in my life. So the reason I'm saying BS to saying I can't find the time is because you have to get real about making statements over and over again, like saying, I can't find the time. I mean, what are you really saying there? When you say that over and over again, you believe it's true that that statement has value, but it only has the value you give it. If you want to change your life, if you want to design your balance, one thing you may need to rethink, is how you think about time. So tip number one, stop saying random statements about time and feeding this mysterious idea that you have somehow lost time. Like Drew Barrymore lost her memory and 51st dates, or like Dory did in Finding Nemo. I mean, talk about a real issue. Yeah. Drew Barrymore and Dory in those movies. Really were suffering from having lost something. Their memory. You on the other hand? No, no, my fabulous friend, you did not lose time. Time has been there, right there all along. Oh, and by the way, you're not really Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 days either. Remember that movie, of in case you can't tell I'm a total rom com nerd.

06:59

So in any given day, I can pretty much find a rom com reference. Anyway, in that movie, Kate Hudson plays a journalist with a how to column. And for the subject of our column, she wants to show all the classic mistakes girls make that caused them to lose the guy hence her trying to lose a guy in 10 days. Which if you've seen the movie, of course, you know, the guy is adorable, like Matthew and Connie. Any she like does like all these girls stereotype things to drive him away, like showing up on guys night or redecorating his apartment with cute stuffed animals or buying him a puppy or giving him a love fern. The point being she is actively trying to lose the guy. See, you're not actively trying to lose time, or at least I don't think you are. So if you agree with me that you haven't lost time, and you're not actively trying to lose time, then where does that leave you? I say it leaves you exactly where you need to be for this discussion. I would like you to consider that when you're asked about doing something. Whether it's for your family, for your work, for your friends, for yourself, that you actively try not to say the phrase, I can't find the time. There is a very, very simple reason for this. And actually, I always say this reason and you will probably hear me say it again and again. Cuz it is important, but here it is. The words you use when you talk about shit. They matter. The words you use to talk to yourself, they matter. The words you use to talk to others, they matter.

08:59

Okay, now you're probably you're all going to be like Well, damn, I don't want to tell Trisha that I can find the time now. You're probably like racking your brain for like another phrase to explain why you can't get shit done, or you can't do something or you haven't done something. Look, look, look. Don't be afraid. I mean, this thing, this phrase, I can't find the time or phrases like it. You probably have trained your brain to say it so much that when you say it, it just it just pops out. And that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. I know because I used to do this. I just tell everybody, I can't find the time or I don't have the time. So guess what you need to do now. You have to untrain your brain from saying that. And you can totally do this. The first step is just recognizing that you do it at all. You you may be feeling right now a little adamant. You want to be telling me? No, Trisha, I truly can't find the time. I'm busy, Trisha, I have a million things to do on my list. I just can't find the time. And and then you may be thinking in really Trisha saying that I can't find the time is not going to help me. But what if it did? What if you start thinking about time differently? The first way to start thinking about time differently, is to actually start talking about time differently.

10:36

I'm not trying to upheaval your whole world, by somehow removing the justification for why you haven't taken action on something. Look, you already agreed, and we already established, you haven't lost time. And you're not actively trying to lose time. I'm just asking you to talk a little different. When you talk about time. Just take that one little step with me. You know what happens when you do this? You will have to actually start thinking about where you are spending your time. And then you can start to work on that. And you know what else happens? You will notice how everyone around you talks about time. And you'll notice where they're spending their time. But let me warn you do not get distracted. Your focus is to work on you right now. Not anybody else. So take your energy and channel it in to you. And I'll leave you with that. Yeah, go get after it. You got this

12:02

Hey, thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, and are a woman ready to say fuck that noise, so you can start designing the balance in your life. Go take my free course to get started at Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now Have an awesome day and I'll see you next we