#10 - Dream Scary Big

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

dream, goal, big, brain, thoughts, life, scary, feeling, trisha, business, write, entrepreneur, scene, noise, accomplish, figure, talking, learn, balance, hollywood

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully, I often would be frustrated that time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seem to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it. Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life, by how I choose to show up for myself, every day. Am I perfect? Hell no far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself, and to be present with whatever I experienced in this life, The Good, the Bad, and The really fucking ugly. to own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women. And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life, preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying fuck that noise, go to Trisha barita.com, forward slash free course. Now let's get after it.

02:07

Hello, fabulous friends. When was the last time that you dreamed big? Or have you ever dreamed big? And if you're thinking big? What does that even mean? Trisha? You may be thinking, sure, I mean, I have wanted to, you know, maybe land that big client or get hired for that big job. I wanted to win the lottery. Or be a billionaire. Own a convertible sports car, marry the love of my life. The kama mother travel to Paris, you know? Is that dreaming big? But if you are any of those are those types of things? When did you have those dreams? Were these from your childhood or earlier life? Did you already accomplish some of these or move past them? So when I say we're going to talk about whether you dream big, I'm talking about now, not back at some other time in your childhood, or other part of your life. When was the last time you sat down and wrote 25 things that you'd like to do? Just dreaming? Just asking yourself? What do I want right now in my life? What do I want a year from now? Or what about five years from now? 1015 25 years from now. Maybe you want to learn a new hobby or learn how to speak Spanish or some other language. Maybe you want to lose 1520 30 or more pounds. Or you want to launch a business or level up your current business or ask for your worth at your job. Maybe you want to make $100,000 or million dollars or maybe you just want to take a guilt free spa day every every month. You could you could maybe want to find your identity again, after becoming a mom or leaving a relationship or some other big event in your life. Maybe you just want to have a marriage or relationship you're excited about maybe you feel I don't have a dream. I don't have some big goal. My life is pretty good and I'm just super busy. Well, hell Maybe that's your dream to slow it down to be more present and deliberate in your life. I mean, that could be a goal. That could be a dream. Maybe you want more balance in your life, you know, I think that's a good goal. Now, think back to the movie Pretty Woman. Yeah. Richard Gere. Julia Roberts, you know which one I'm talking about? Yeah, there's that character. And you may not remember it, but there's this character, I think he was called the happy man. And, and the line in the movie, he says, Welcome to Hollywood. What's your dream? Everybody comes here. This is Hollywood land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't. But keep on dreaming. This is Hollywood. I think about that quote. And I think about how easy it is to become settled in the rinse and repeat of your everyday life that you forget how to dream. I think everybody does this, really. But I just think that women especially seem to let busy or overwhelm or noise, or the idea of no time interfere with the ability to dream for themselves. You know, like the happy man character and pretty woman. Some dreams come true, some don't. But keep on dreaming. So what are other reasons why we as women stopped dreaming, especially maybe stopping from dreaming big? Well, you see the brain, it's a complex thing and pushing you, you know, to push yourself to the edge, okay, by picking you know, the big dreams, because at the edge, that's where the dreams are really big. Well, that's just not generally where most people's brains naturally go to.

07:04

You have to, you know, direct your brain and set a goal in that, you know, into that space and tell the tell your brain, we're gonna go after this goal, we're gonna focus on this, this is a priority for us, because there's a lot of stuff coming in to your brain that your brain is trying to figure out. Now, you know, you have to make sure that you're clear on what exactly that goal is. And what that dream is. But how do we know it's a big tree? One that say, will change us that will grow and evolve us if we accomplish it? Or maybe you may, even if you don't accomplish it, I've had a few dreams where I've gone after and haven't haven't made it those goals. But believe me, I learned so much on the way about what I really wanted about myself. There's all kinds of learning you know, when you're trying to really achieve things that that are big that are big dreams. But I think the answer to the question of how do we know if it's a big dream is well, kind of me needs to be a little scary. Just like if you're at home on the couch watching a scary horror movie. And your brain is like wait a minute, this looks dangerous. Maybe we should get out of here. Jason or Freddy or whatever it is, is going to kill us. I mean, let me think of some of the other words scary greats. That shower scene in psycho. The Exorcist you know what that when the head? The head spinning scene, or the Meat Hook in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And how can we forget carry the prom queen moment? Alien aliens another good one? Alien the alien coming out of the stomach and alien that that scene? Or the closet scene from Halloween? Or the Shining when Jack's breaking down the door? some scary stuff there the phone call and screen Ooh. The needle pit seen and saw to oh and then everything. I feel like everything about the grudge. I'm kind of a scaredy cat though. So I'm easily scared. But okay, okay, hoping I hope you get the point. Well, that's the primitive part of your brain, right? That's telling you Danger Danger. We need to go to safety. And and the other part of your brain says, no, no, it's just a movie. It's all fake blood. That person isn't really a murderer. It's, it's fine to stay here in the couch. Alright, so that feeling those thoughts that drew If that feeling, you know, this looks dangerous, we should go somewhere safe, let's be safe, let's not do anything uncomfortable. That is often the feeling you will get when you take your big dream. And really decide you're going to make it a goal and go after it. It's not exactly the same, but the thoughts are so similar. So, say you say you go take a piece of paper today, and you write down like, like, up to like 25 things. And you just let yourself dream for a minute, just sit in a quiet place. And just write everything down. Just dump it out. Don't Don't let your don't let your mind filter it, just put it all on paper. And then and then when you think you've put it as much as you could, everything that you can think of, you know, take a step back, look at the sheet and you pick one. If it's a big goal, something you've never done, something you have even the slightest doubt of whether you could accomplish. Your brain is going to be like a parent that just walked into a room with their toddler wildly jumping on their parents bet the toddler is you dreaming, we jump jump, this is amazing. Jump Jump stream is awesome jump jump. And then your brain is like that parent, wait a minute, stop. What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't write that down. Don't commit to that. You probably can't do that you never done that. This seems unsafe, very dangerous. Please stop. Now, this is making me uncomfortable. So if you if you've got any of those types of thoughts coming up, hint hint, then it's probably a good goal, actually. Because it's not the rinse and repeat of goals of your past.

12:01

It's new enough that your brain feels challenged. Your brain, it naturally wants to go back to doing things that, you know, you've done before, that we've done before your brain saying let's do some of those goals. Again. Remember that goal from 2012, you were good at that goal. Let's do something like that we have evidence that worked. So little is scary. But when you're dreaming scary big, you're gonna have to grow a little to get there. And guess what? You're gonna have to recognize those thoughts. And work in practice on calming your brain down, or disregarding those thoughts of getting in the way. Okay? Have you going after this dream. So you can really take the big scary dream, write it down as a goal, and start taking the steps to determine how it's going to become a reality. Let me tell you, one of the biggest wildest dreams that I had, that I've had in my life was to own my own business, to be an entrepreneur. And it was very scary to me at the time. Actually, it's how it is for most people is this very scary, who decide to start their own business? Yeah, leaving a solid job paycheck to entrepreneurship. Well, there's this feeling of no safety net that can be so unnerving. That sometimes entrepreneurs just give up, because it's a lot to take on. And unless you have piles of money, which I didn't, you know, there's concerns about security, self doubt, you know, all the thoughts in that area, like they are are with any big, you know, scary dream. There's going to be a lot of self learning, which often can only be learned through a lot of doing things and failing at them and doing them again, until you figure it out. One of the reasons this was particularly scary, of course, for me was because I had never done it. So my brain and my thoughts were just hatin on the idea and and I had to figure out how to get there, in in my, in my head to go after that dream. So how did I get there? Well, the dream was there in the back of my mind for a long time. I didn't commit to doing anything about it. You know, for me, rinse and repeat. He was pretty good. So I just kept on. And but I kept going back to it. And I started, at some point to lean into the dream, I started to imagine what it would be like to be there to have accomplished this goal of creating a successful business. Now granted, any of you listening that actually own a business? You'll probably agree that what you thought entrepreneurship would be like, well, it's usually very different. I mean, some of its there, like you thought it would be, but there's a lot that you don't know that you don't know. And that's, that's like all of these big scary dreams a lot that you don't know that you don't, you know, that you don't know. I mean, I know a lot of things probably more than, than the average person, maybe just stepping out new and never had run a business because I was an attorney. But you know, marketing is very different. And other aspects of the business were very different that I had to learn, besides the practice of law, so the actual running of the business. You know, it's a, it's something I had to open my mind up to the possibility that this was a real goal. And guess what I was going to have to believe enough in myself, to take the leap to go after the goal, to write it down to make it real. To believe that I was worthy enough to go after the goal, and that I was strong enough to fail and pick myself back up and commit to figuring it out anyway. But of course, there are days when you doubt your ability to be successful and obtain these big, beautiful, scary goals. And I had those days for sure. Every entrepreneur has those days, and, and everyone going after big scary goals has those days. And that's part of the process.

17:02

What I want you to really think about is that, are you selling yourself short by not dreaming enough? By not asking yourself what you really want? Are you dreaming big enough? Are you choosing instead, the safe goal, the one you know you can achieve? Because you don't want to feel uncomfortable? I mean, when was the last time you picked a goal that felt uncomfortable when you wrote it down? And yes, you have to write it down. My opinion. Write it down, make it real. When was the last time you did that? See, that's what I'm talking about. I want your Freddy Krueger Jason saw scream Maleficent Ursula, Wicked Witch of the West feeling. When you think about this goal. I want to know it fucking matters to you. I want to know you're digging deep into the desires of where you want to be, and living the most intentional life that you can. That's how you set your mind to scary big goal. You dig deep, you feel the feelings. You write it down. So it's measurable. And all the thoughts that come up. You just recognize that that's just drama that you may have to work through. And all the failing that may happen. That's just part of the process of figuring it out, to get through to get what you deeply desire. And now I'm going to ask you to do something this week. Not for me, but for yourself. Start dreaming scary big. You deserve it for yourself. You're worthy of whatever you want in this life. So I'll leave you with that. Now go get after it. You got this

19:18

Hey, thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, and are a woman ready to say fuck that noise, so you can start designing the balance in your life. Go take my free course to get started at Trisha barita.com forward slash free course. Now Have an awesome day and I'll see you next week.