#1 - That Noise

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

noise, thoughts, life, tech, marty, marty mcfly, today, overarching, scene, work, category, mom, consume, balance, sub categories, horizon, future, goals, 1950s, relationship

SPEAKERS

Trisha Barita

00:02

Hey there, I'm Trisha Barita. I'm a mother of twin girls, a wife, an entrepreneur, a psychology major, a lawyer, and a coach. With all these different roles in my life, in the past, I truly struggled with the limiting beliefs in my ability to adequately juggle all these roles successfully. I often would be frustrated that, time and again, I let my goals and dreams always take a backseat to everything else I was trying to do. And those dreams always seemed to be on the horizon, just out of reach. Until I discovered tools and thought-work to help me tackle and learn to balance all of it.

00:45

Now, I don't let these titles define my limits. I define my balance in life by how I choose to show up for myself every day. Am I perfect? Hell no, far from it. But I do work every day to believe in myself and to be present with whatever I experience in this life--the good, the bad, and the really-fucking-ugly. To own my truth and own my thoughts. I created this podcast to talk about how that noise gets in the way of our goals as women.

01:23

And now I help women and teach them tools to cut the overwhelm of noise in their life preventing them from getting the balance they want. If you like this podcast and want to take my free course to get started on designing your balance, and saying 'fuck that noise,' go to TrishaBarita.com/freecourse. Now let's get after it.

02:08

Hello, fabulous friends. So today I'm going to talk about That Noise. You may be asking what exactly am I referring to? Well, the truth is That Noise . . . it's a lot of things. But let me just break it down into four overarching categories. There may be more, or others, but this is just to start the conversation.

02:35

Alright, number one noise category: I would just call this 'Tech.' So you know that famous scene in Back to the Future Part One. Okay, scratch that. Maybe it's one of the least favorite scenes or  not as popular known scenes of that movie, but, but it's when Marty McFly gets hit in the head. And wait a minute--hold the phone, if you haven't watched Back to the Future, or you haven't done so in a while--revisit that classic because Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd are freaking awesome. And it's a feel good 80s time-travel classic. Okay, back to the matter at hand. So in movie 1 of the trilogy, Marty was hit by a car in the 1950s. And he was found on the street and being cared for by his mom, who's a teenager back then, and in his mom's house where she grew up. So he's upstairs passed out--because his mom's dad had hit him with the car-- and when he recovers, he comes downstairs to see all of his family members. But like their 1950s version of themselves. So, like you know, his uncles and aunts-- they're kids. And remember, none of them know who Marty is or that he's from the future. Anyhow, there's a line in the movie. The family's like trying to watch Jackie Gleason or something on their on their one TV. And his mom, Lorraine, says it's their first TV or something they got that day and asks Marty if he has a TV. And Marty says, "Yeah, we have two of them."  And one of the kids says, "Wow, you must be rich!" Then the mom in the scene just says, you know, "He's just teasing, Nobody has two televisions." Being--the idea being, of course, that that would be a lot. Which is really an odd concept for some of us today that, you know, two televisions meant you are rich.

04:40

So with that thought in mind, if we were going to do a time travel today, you and me to a 1980s Marty McFly and we told him everyone was walking around with portable phones that you can use for a computer, phone calls and texts and communicating constantly with loved ones, work, and strangers, he probably would have said, "Wow, you must be rich," too.

05:08

So tech is always evolving. And while I love tech, it can be something you feel drawn to . . . this sort of magnetic connection . . . like you want to consume it. And then you want to consume more. It can be a crutch in social settings or a place to escape altogether. So much that with the good has become the bad, like bullying, and validation of one's self-worth, how many likes and shares and ring the bells did I get? I must be loved and adored.

05:46

But don't get me wrong. I'm all for the Elon Musks trying to figure out cutting-edge tech for how to be multi-planet-bound. Or  snag the new iPhone that was available to let me capture amazing videos of my kids' childhood. But no doubt when I think noise, I literally think about the noise in my house or in other people's homes when I visit them. Social media and app alerts, TVs, iPads,  Alexa, Siri, or whatever new AI comes along. You know, but let the world change and the tech right along with it. Because one thing is always true. The choice to consume what noise you consume, and to filter or interpret with your own thoughts, what all this means for you--how you enjoy tech, and still be present in your life to experience it. Well, that's all within your power.

06:50

Okay, down to number two noise category, alright. Society. This one, this one could really be broken into like a ton of sub categories, you know, news, social media, the internet, politics, historical influences, publications, and you know, the overarching media in general. There's a lot of noise when it comes to society. And just like tech, it's always been there and it's not going away. If you let it, it can persuade you as to how to see the world. It can change how you process everything from who you think is beautiful and how you process whether you are accepted by others. By looking at what society believes to be acceptable, and how you change yourself to fit in, sometimes even the best parts of you, just so you don't feel different.

07:51

Okay, so on to the number three noise category. The people in your life. I'm not talking about the strangers. I'm talking about anything from family, love interests, you and your children, your work colleagues, friends, frenemies, you know, the Joker to your Batman or, if we're going Wonder Woman style the Cheetah to your Wonder Woman. You know, these thoughts are tied up in a lot of other thoughts about these individual relationships, and how you see relationships in general. Often we've made thoughts about these people in our lives and things they say--the noise--or ways they act, we've made it to be a very, very painful part of our lives, making the noise from these people affect how you value yourself. And how you change your access to your creative self. And how you create feelings of insecurity or of being unloved and of self-doubt and who you are and the goals you may want to achieve and whether you can achieve them. Sometimes this noise has become a narrative you play in your head like a broken record on repeat. Every time this relationship or things about this relationship come up, you play the same part of the song over and over again 'til you've convinced yourself it's the only way to see that relationship. And it's the only way to see these people in your life.

09:42

Alright, so on to category number four. Let's see. This is the most powerful. It's the noise inside you. Of all the work that I do with the women in coach, when we make focus on any of these four categories of noise, I have to say, so many answers to saying 'fuck that noise' to get what you want out of this life is you taking that journey to understand the noise inside of you . . . to listen to it. Know that it is just noise and to manage your thoughts around it. When you do that it's your own secret key to your fabulous life. As an amazing human, you get to empower yourself. And let me tell you this, when I really started to understand how powerful my thoughts are, I can see now that they can either lift me up or really break me down, as I've experienced many times in the past. So stop chasing the horizon for the next diet, the next job, the next love or whatever, to find you-- to find your happiness. You are worthy and capable and powerful enough to find all of this today. So forget Back to the Future. Forget going to your past, and stop rushing to get somewhere in the future. You just have to start believing in yourself today. Loving yourself today. And cut the fucking noise out that's getting in your way. And I'll leave you with that. Now go get after it. You got this!

11:41

Hey, thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, and are a woman ready to say 'fuck that noise' so you can start designing the balance in your life. Go take my free course to get started at TrishaBarita.com/freecourse. Now have an awesome day and I'll see you next week.